Hello to all! I’ve missed you so much.

I wanted to create a post today with the hopes of providing some comfort during these strange, uncertain times. I won’t pretend for a second that I’ve been handling any of this with more grace and calmness than I’m sure any of you have. In fact, it’s been a huge struggle to say the least.

However, I’m finally getting to a place where I feel a bit more settled with this all. I’ve been able to grasp onto some sort of familiarity and certainty in the chaos occurring outside my apartment walls, and for now, that’s enough. Therefore, in case you’re not quite there yet, I wanted to put together what’s sure to be a not-very-organized collection of thoughts, feelings, ideas, and resources that might be useful during this time.

advice

Let me begin by saying that I’m not a medical professional, nor do I have any sort of expertise in any areas related to COVID-19 that could be helpful right now. I’ve been seeing some influencers adopting that tone, and that’s fine as long as they actually know what they’re talking about. One Instagram account I have really been following throughout all of this is Two Dusty Travelers, which is run by a couple who tries to travel ethically and sustainably. However, Emily is also a nurse who worked in the Global South during the height of the Ebola outbreaks. During all of Coronavirus, she has been posting stories filled with useful resources, facts, and reputable content. I highly recommend checking this account out if you’re looking for a facts-based approach to all of this.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Emily & Aaron • Ethical Travel (@twodustytravelers) on Mar 3, 2020 at 9:16am PST

This is going to certainly come across as a hypocritical, preaching-to-the-choir sort of moment, but try and stay off the internet as much as possible. Updates are important, obviously, but other than that, mindless scrolling is a recipe for anxiety. I’m writing this as a reminder to myself as much as to you. The commentary, the articles, and even the memes are all getting to be a bit too much.

my thoughts on productivity

A lot of folks (who are privileged to be able to do so) are currently working from home. That goes for me, too. Along with being a student, I have a part-time job at my campus’ sustainability office. However, my entire university has moved online for the remainder of the semester. We have this week and next off of school, and then it’s back to digital class for what’s left of the year.

I’ve spoken before about my opinion on hustle culture, Instagram entrepreneurs, and more. It is a topic that I will never not go on for too long about. People have mental illnesses! People have disabilities! People work overtime hours at jobs they’re not paid enough to do! People are oppressed every single day! Not everyone can wake up at 4am everyday and suddenly become a billionaire, or whatever their goal is. There are real, systemic barriers that many people face every single day, and making them feel bad for “not hustling hard enough” doesn’t do anything to help. Instead, it actually incites more guilt and exhaustion.

This may seem off topic. However, I’ve already noticed a lot of online content (when I should’ve been limiting my scrolling, I know) about peoples’ “quarantine projects”. Yes, I’m truly happy for you if this time off has allowed you to put more time into your business or to finish writing your book or even to reorganize that closet you’ve been meaning to get to forever.

But we’re not under any obligation to be more productive right now. This, of course, comes with the caveat that those of us who are working from home right now have jobs that allow us to. I can’t say enough about healthcare workers (my mom and my sister-in-law, for just two examples: you are the greatest human beings alive, as far as I’m concerned). I can’t say enough about all the other folks who still have to go to work right now or risk losing paychecks.

For those of us who are home, though, some of the best ongoing commentary I’ve seen is that all you need to do right now is get through this. Personally, I’ve just been trying to get through these recent days without crying, or laying in bed and staring at my ceiling for way too long, or watching too much Netflix. All I’m trying to say is that if you’re not simply taking this in stride and celebrating at the opportunity to put this new time at home towards personal projects, you don’t need to feel bad or compare yourself negatively to those who are.

But when you feel yourself starting to calm down and gain a sense of control, act on it gently. Get outside. I’ve been going for runs, but with no expectation of how fast or how far I’ll go. I just put on my favourite music and enjoy the nice weather. That’s self-care. Or bake or cook a favourite meal! Make it nutritious and fulfilling if possible, but don’t set your expectations sky-high. That’s self-care. Or write something! Or draw something! Just try to limit your expectations. There is no expectation right now that you’ll do anything groundbreaking.

As a matter of fact, some of the best advice I have received throughout COVID-19 is this. My roommate told me that there’s no expectations on me to help everyone around me, to be an extraordinary activist, or to otherwise contribute incredibly to society. Instead, the best thing I can do for those around me is to stay home and take care of myself. And more broadly, we have to remember that this is the best thing we can do in general! Social distancing, remember? This is the only thing (aside from handwashing) that healthcare workers, who are working harder than ever, are asking of society. So we should probably listen.

mental health

I am intimately aware of how harmful social distancing is (and will continue to be) on mental health. Sometimes, getting out and going somewhere new, seeing a friend or meeting someone new is the only thing that’ll pull me out of some really bad anxiety. But there are ways to show up for yourself that don’t require breaking your quarantine. The first one might actually be not calling it a quarantine, because that’s a terrifying word.

Otherwise, just do small acts of self-care. Take a shower! Put on some makeup and take some selfies! Go running or walking if you’re able (I cannot recommend this one enough)!!! Get some sun on your face! Open a window and stick your head out! Eat a favourite food or snack! Video chat with a friend you haven’t talked to in awhile! Buy a gift card from your favourite cafe or restaurant! The list is truly endless.

I personally plan on creating a “Want To-Do” list. I’ll put all of the tasks that I’d like to complete during this period of social distancing, but I won’t punish myself if I don’t get to them. I think this will be a powerful way of reducing the pressure I have a tendency to put on myself to be creative. The best art and fun comes out of the most spontaneous acts of creativity, in my opinion. If you decide to adopt a similar approach, let me know! I’d love to do it together.

resources!!!

I could write forever and still not get to all of my favourite things. So, here is a collection of music, shows, recipes, and whatever else that you might feel like perusing during your time at home. I AM KEEPING IT FUN! No productivity necessary.

recipes

Some vegetarian cooking and baking I’ve tried or am planning to try! I’ve talked in a past post here about why I love cooking as self-care so much.

Easy Roasted Tomato Soup
Sun-Dried Tomato and Basil Meatballs
Vegan Mashed Potato Bowls
Vegetarian Lentil Tortilla Soup (I’ve made this tons of times, it’s so easy and so good)
Sugar Cookie Bars
Sandwich Brownie Cookies with Cookie Dough Frosting
Salted Caramel Chocolate Chip Cookie Bars
Crack Pie Cookies (an ode to Milk Bar’s crack pie!)
Cinnamon Toast Crunch Marshmallow Cookies
Bittersweet Chocolate Cookies with Caramelized White Chocolate (I made these with golden oreos instead of the white chocolate and they were Very Good as well)

music

Here’s a playlist of some favourite music I think you should listen to (it’s a bit of everything):

tv shows

Some different things I’ve watched and enjoyed, linked to their websites/descriptions:

Love is Blind (sometimes, cheesy reality TV is exactly what you need, even if you don’t think so)
RuPaul’s Drag Race (no spoilers, I’m only on Season 9!)
Next in Fashion (this one’s really bringing out my inner fashion nerd)
Veep (US political comedy, you won’t be able to stop once you start)
How I Met Your Mother (yes, I prefer it over Friends)
Gossip Girl (I just finished it and I wish there was more)
Brooklyn Nine-Nine (there really aren’t enough good things to say about this wholesome show)
I Am Not Okay With This (a very entertaining and quick watch)
Atypical (I love it, just watch it, that’s all)
Jane the Virgin (I cried so much and I’d do it all again in a heartbeat)
You (you won’t be able to not binge it)
Love (complicated and wonderful)
Patriot Act (we love some good political comedy - and there’s a great episode about Fast Fashion!)

youtube

Here’s a playlist featuring videos from some of my all-time fave channels!

Stay home, take care of yourselves, and wash your hands.

Love you so much,

Ethigirl

Hello all!

If you’ve been reading Ethigirl for awhile, or if you know me in real life, you probably know that I regularly struggle with my mental health and that burnout — more specifically, activist burnout — has played a huge role in my life.

Most of the time, it feels like I’m constantly surrounded and, frankly, suffocated by the issues which plague our world. In high school, I had a healthier work-life balance along with outlets like sports and art… but in university, the constant whirlwind of assignments and extracurriculars and pressure and struggle to succeed truly got to me, and I lost all of that.

Everything in my life orbited around its focal point: trying desperately, but always feeling like I was failing, to fix the problems of the world. And the worst of it all is that every problem was is so intertwined and entangled. You approach something as simple as single use plastics and are surrounded and caught inside and unable to escape the grips of capitalism and colonialism and environmentalism as an intersectional issue of social justice that affects some of the world’s most vulnerable people and species who have been oppressed and undercut for centuries.

Simply put, it’s difficult to approach an issue, to implement a solution, to see positive results, and to accept them for what they are without feeling defeated by what is left to do or what you cannot accomplish with what you’ve put in place. You’re always missing some component, or you can’t scale. And this tireless work — this chasing after some goal which is damn near impossible to reach — coupled with that constant discouragement breeds one thing alone: burnout.

I often feel that way with fashion, too. I fell in love with sustainable fashion because of how beautiful it is as a solution: sustainably-made clothes are better quality, more unique, and more exciting to wear. I thought that focusing on fashion would allow me to stay positive. It was fun and exciting. And although I certainly still often feel this way, there are some times when I don’t.

This past summer and fall, everything came to a halt: I just didn’t know how I could do it anymore. So I took a break from Ethigirl. I took a break from, well…everything. I was forced to leave a social action-oriented university extracurricular to which I’d probably dedicated hundreds of hours over the past couple of years. I dialed back entirely, leaving me to figure out who I was without activism and advocacy.

It was really scary. I came to terms with the fact that who you are isn’t based on what you do. You can do many, many wonderful things for the world and still hurt the people around you because you’re bad at keeping in touch, you hold grudges for too long, or you never properly learned how to resolve conflict. I learned that we are nothing without the people around us: being surrounded with those who make us feel whole are, well, what make us whole. And we need to take the time to genuinely and deeply foster those relationships for all that they are worth.

At some point during all of this self-learning, I revisited something many people had told me when I was in some of my hardest times: you really need to pick up a hobby. Something completed detached from activism. And that’s when I started getting into cooking. Though I had been meal prepping sporadically for about a year, I’d never put a lot of serious thought into it — probably because I was always so preoccupied with everything else I had on the go.

Vegetarian ramen with green onions, sesame seeds, and a ramen egg

But over this past summer and fall, thanks to the influence of Tyler (my boyfriend), I really started getting into cooking videos on YouTube. Big shout out to Bon Appetit in particular. And then, I started replicating what I saw. I started getting excited about buying my groceries every week. I wanted to learn every tip that I could. Every Sunday, I’d set aside (and still do) about four or five hours to prepare all of my meals for the week ahead. Tyler often helps me cook, and although sometimes he’s just as excited about the food as I am and takes over a little too much, I love having him around during the process.

Cooking has become a true form of self care for me: and not even just in the sense of having nutritious, prepared meals to eat for the week ahead (although that’s also a huge plus), but also because it’s an art form. When I am simply chopping up and simmering veggies for a delicious meal, I get so psyched about the process. It’s very reminiscent of my high school days, when I was doing watercolour paintings on the regular.

Tomato soup with parmesan and microgreens

It has helped me to relearn the simple art of creating something for myself that is just intrinsically good. I am not cooking to support any political or social cause. It’s something entirely detached from every other issue I have going on in my life, and I can just focus on it for those five Sunday afternoon hours while I play music, let some sauce bubble on the stove, and just allow myself to breathe for a minute.

Sick-day vegetarian curry with green onions and sesame seeds

About four months later, I feel deeply healed. I am not all the way better — nor will I probably ever be. But with deeply mindful cooking as part of my lifestyle, I have learned how to take even just five hours every week to take care of myself without any other concerns. And through this process, I know with some practice I can expand that five hours into an hour, or two, or more every single day. That’s something I’m pretty excited about.

With love and sustainability,

Ethigirl

(P.s. — let me know your favourite recipes in the comments. I’m hungry.)